


The One Thing I'd Wanted

by Fangirl_Shenanigans



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Crying Laguna, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Squall realizes he has a family, Theories, Visit from Ghost!Mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_Shenanigans/pseuds/Fangirl_Shenanigans
Summary: Squall finally takes in the fact that he now has a family and begins to fully accept it after hearing the reality of why he never knew Laguna.Note: This is a version of how this could happen. I'm just sick of the one where Laguna was aware the whole time and just couldn't deal with it honestly. Laguna would never willingly abandon someone in my opinion, it sort of defies his character.Only Mrs. Rosenbaum is mine.





	

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII nor it's characters. That is the due of Square Enix, and by this point I'm sure we all know this to be fact. I do however own the original character Leina Rosenbaum, who may get a cameo in another franchise** **fan work.**

* * *

 

   Squall was at a loss for words (not that he was a particularly chatty person in the first place) when he got off the phone with one of Esthar’s council members. Apparently President Loire had gone missing and didn’t leave any information about his whereabouts. While Squall wasn’t quite surprised to hear the man had wandered off, it was very unlike the man to not leave clues to where he’d be going. The commander sighed, rubbing his temples; it was going to be a long day.

  
     “Zell, I need you and Selphie to ready Ragnarok for a trip to Esthar. President Loire has been presumed missing by the council again…what’s the date?” It had only just occurred to Squall that Laguna had mentioned visiting Winhill. If it was the 23rd, then he was likely visiting his wife’s grave…the grave of his mother. It was still a shock to learn he had any living family, and Laguna was beyond strange to him. Squall remembered vaguely that his father said he could visit her as well, and maybe when he was ready they’d talk more about their family connection. The truth was that Ellone had already told him that week in a letter.

     “April 23rd, why Squall?” Zell asked, confused by the near instant change from order to question. It was weird enough that someone like Laguna was ‘missing’, but for Squall to seem fidgety was just flat out strange. Looking at the brunet, he noticed that he looked pensive and like a million questions were floating through his head. Zell decided it was time to take some initiative and give Squall a push in the right direction.

      “Y’know, maybe you should do this one solo Squall.”

      “Are you giving a superior an order Zell?" Squall asked without much heat or agitation, he was actually suspicious of the sudden change in demeanor in the blond. Zell just grinned.

      “I mean, on your own you’re way more likely to find President Loire and convince him to return to Esthar. You seem to have a hunch about where he is after all. Selphie and me, we’d probably slow you down Commander.” Zell knew he was playing with ice, but damn it if he didn’t try flattery to get the point across rather than saying what he was really burning to say.

      “If you have something to say Zell, spit it out.”

     “Dude! Go talk to your old man already! It’s been five months and you haven’t written any replies. You don’t even know why he wasn’t in your life! Laguna wants to be there for you, but he’s respecting your space. Go visit your parents Squall, we’ve got Garden covered.” Zell said, almost in one breath. Zell didn’t want to mention it, but he’d seen what Laguna currently looked like: a man too tired to care that his heart is being shattered by misplaced guilt. 17 years Laguna has been the president of Esthar, a position the man clearly never wanted but was rather well suited for with his placating nature. Zell couldn’t help being happy when Squall found out he had a father, and being a bit irritated that Squall didn’t try to connect with his only living family apart from ‘Sis’.  
Squall blinked, a little perturbed by the raw amount of emotion in the short speech and truth be told he was a little impressed. The gun blade wielder had already made up his mind when he heard the date, but it was good to hear some motivation albeit overly intensified like most of what Zell does.

       “You were already going weren’t you?”

      “Yes, though you are right in that I should go alone. I trust you to keep things in order, I also trust you to keep casualties to ‘Hotdog’ day to a minimum.” Squall couldn’t hide the smirk that flitted across his face, hotdogs were still the favorite food among cadets and staff alike it seemed though Squall would happily settle for a slice of the lasagna he had at the Presidential palace five months prior.

 

       The drive to Winhill was surprisingly pleasant, Squall found himself enjoying the quiet scenery even as a few things began to click in his mind. It made him regret, a thing he hated doing. Squall was regretting his decision to assign blame solely to the very man he was looking for. Blaming him for his life, but then being thankful to have had his life the way he did or he may never have met Rinoa in the first place or any of the others. Squall’s mind began to wander until he saw Winhill come into view. Winhill was a small town with old but ‘cute’ buildings, it was clear the people weren’t very happy about something.

     “Why can’t he just stay gone already? There’s nothing here for that hooligan anymore!”

     “The nerve of the menace, comin’ round here every year and spendin’ hours in the fields.”

    “Pardon me, but are you referring to Laguna Loire?” Squall inquired, instantly deciding he didn’t care for these people. Clearly they didn’t respect a man visiting his wife’s grave, it rubbed him the wrong way. It made Squall seriously consider demanding his mother be buried elsewhere, that made him pause. Was he finally letting the fact these were his parents sink in.

     “What does it matter to you, eh young man?”

     “Yes, not often we have someone your age around let alone asking about that—“

     “That man you are talking about is my father. The fact that you have a problem with a man visiting his own wife’s grave tells me all I need to know about this town. Now, are you going to tell me where my mother is laid to rest or do I need to ask again?” Squall wasn’t sure why he was quite as livid as he was. Shiva simply smiles in his subconscious, clearly approving his actions. An elderly woman stepped forward, a defiant look on her face.

     “Raine Lionheart’s boy, I always wondered when the former mayor’s decision would kick this town in the rear. You have your mother’s look about you as well as her bearing, but you’ve got your father’s messy hair.”

      “You knew my mother?” Squall asked, momentarily distracted from his angry tirade. The woman chuckled, her eyes crinkling as she smiled.

     “I’ve known your mother since she was a baby, she was always fairly sensible. Raine would be furious if she knew what the town put you, Ellone, and Laguna through. Mostly you and Laguna though, Ellone may have ended up with the White SeeD regardless due to her powers. Come and walk with an old woman Squall, I’ll tell you the truth while we hunt down Laguna. I wager Raine’s grave is the only place he can go without ever getting lost.”

       The old woman’s name was Leina Rosenbaum; she had been Raine’s nanny and was the one who helped bring Squall into the world. Squall learned that she too hadn’t taken to Laguna right away, but she was one of the few who were at least hospitable with him. Raine was known to compare him to a big puppy that needed to be handled with patience, but Leina was convinced some of the laughter and good nature was to cover insecurities. Laguna didn’t care what the citizens of Winhill thought of him, but Ellone and Raine could easily hurt him but were quick to clear any misunderstandings which quickly brought back the real smiles.

     “So, which one proposed to whom? From what little I know about Laguna…he seems too likely to suffer a leg cramp to get a proper proposal out.”

     “Laguna proposed to Raine in the very fields she is buried in. It was a small wedding, not many were happy with her choice to marry him, the former mayor included. When Laguna went to find and rescue Ellone, Raine was not yet showing signs of pregnancy. Shortly after Ellone was sent home to us and Laguna could no longer leave Esthar, Raine went into labor and had you today. 

    “You were an early baby and Raine had been sick, she prayed to Griever the family guardian that you would live and that both you and Ellone would be together with Laguna. It was not to be.

     “The mayor sent you both away to an orphanage far away before Laguna ever reached Winhill and made sure none would tell Laguna the truth about you or how Raine died. They deemed it a fit punishment for the ‘man who abandoned his family’.”

       Squall ran the information through his head. It was little wonder Laguna didn’t push him to accept him as his father like he’d assumed he would. Laguna must have come to the conclusion he would share the opinions of the town or just really wanted to let Squall take it in before he shared what he knew about the story. Suddenly he remembered that one of the letters (surprisingly most of these were diplomatic but a few update one Ellone were there) was actually rather card-shaped.

      Leina suddenly shouted out and waved at someone in the distance and he could make out Ellone waving back sitting on her knees next to Laguna who was lying in the grass presumably sleeping, one hand resting on the plaque bearing his mother’s name, date of birth, and the date she passed on. From his vantage point Laguna looked a bit thinner than their last meeting five months ago, he hoped it was just the distance. As they got closer he noticed Leina frowning as she focused on Laguna.

    “Ellone, has that doofus been eating properly?”

    “Miss Leina, Uncle Laguna is just tired lately is all it is. I’d say that if he hadn’t clearly lost weight. Aunt Raine would have his head for his sleeping schedule as it is which he has already apologized to her for.” Ellone replied in Laguna’s defense. 

     Squall took a closer look at Laguna now that he was just standing next to the prone man. Laguna’s usual semi-tanned skin was pale and it was clear he wasn’t sleeping correctly and judging by the slight bagginess of his clothes on him he either wasn’t eating properly or was getting sick frequently. These could all be side-effects of stress. Squall’s thoughts were interrupted when two glassy green eyes peered up at him almost deliriously and he felt his heart clench tightly, the feeling he’d learned when he thought his friends were dying around him or when he’d learned Laguna was his father.

    “Raine?”

    “Wake up Uncle Laguna, silly. It’s Squall, not Aunt Raine.” Ellone coaxed gently poking his head, worry covering her face as he showed very little sign of embracing reality.

    “I’m so sorry Raine. I should have found some way out of my role and gone home. I should have known about Squall, should have been there for him and Ellone. I didn’t mean to abandon our family.”

      Leina kept silent as she knelt next to the delirious man and pressed a hand to his forehead ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks and growled angrily.

      “Laguna Loire! You came out here with a fever? Raine would kick you upside the head! Squall, help me get him off the grass and indoors! Squall?”

     

       Squall couldn’t seem to run fast enough, old emotions ripping open as old scars in his heart tore open melding with the new surplus of information. Under that happy façade, that goofy exterior was a man who was letting a town full of hypocrites rip him apart and tell him he abandoned his family when they in truth took it from them both. Ice flew every which way off of him as his emotions set off Shiva’s powers. After some time he felt a soft hand wrap around his own, stopping him in his tracks.

      “I know you’re hurting sweetie, but so is your father. I’m not there to kick him back into shape or to take care of you and Ellone. Laguna can’t say it, but he needs you and Ellone in his life. There is only so much Kiros and Ward can do while he’s like this.”

      “Was the old man always such a handful?” Laguna choked, trying hard not to come undone as his mother’s spirit wrapped her arms around him.

      “Laguna will always be a handful, but he is not normally like this. Guilt misplaced can be the worst thing for someone like your father. Laguna should always be confident and carefree of personality; it is part of who he is.”

       “I should probably make sure that fever doesn’t take him from me before I can get him back. I can’t say it will be easy, but…I need him too.” Squall admitted softly as he let Raine’s spirit return to its place and quickly backtracked to the fields, surprised to see Seifer helping Leina support Laguna who was trying to follow the order to move his legs. Seifer immediately went to explain why he was not in Garden where he was supposed to be.

       “Sis called saying she needed help and I was in the area doing errands for Instructor Trepe.”

       “I’m sorry I ran off like that Ms. Rosenbaum, I can help Seifer move him instead.”

       “I don’t blame you for running off like that, you took in a lot today and it must have all crashed—“

       “Like a pile of bricks slamming into your chest and skull, crushing everything in their path.” Squall was surprised that Laguna was coherent enough to speak, let alone that he hit the nail on the head. Laguna’s eyes were much clearer, but still moist from the crying his body had finally done. Squall pulls Laguna free of Seifer and wrapped his arms tightly around his body, cares out the window as he recalled what Laguna had said to him in his delirium.

       “You listen to me, dad: you did not abandon your family. It was taken from you by agendas and stupid people who had no right. I was taken from you and hidden from you, convinced my family never wanted me. Seventeen years later and I think I turned out alright, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a father. It doesn’t mean I don’t need you. I need you, just like I need my friends. I want you in my life, even if you annoy me at times you’re my father and don’t you ever forget this conversation because we probably won’t have many where I say this much at once.”

       Squall could feel the lithe body in his arms tense and relax several times before enough motor function seemed to return for Laguna to wrap his own arms around Squall, holding him close as he simultaneously tried not to fall and didn’t want to let go just yet his body finally relaxing entirely as he started crying against Squall uncontrollably. Ellone joined the embrace, nudging the two down onto their knees so they didn’t topple. Remembering the card-shaped envelope, Squall thought something he hadn’t that morning. **  
**

_Ten years later and I get the one thing I’d wanted for my birthday since I was old enough to know what one was: a family._


End file.
